Grimes and Elon Musk: Love, Kids, Split and Custody

Few celebrity pairings have confused, fascinated and divided the internet quite like Grimes and Elon Musk. When people search “Grimes and,” they are usually looking for one story: how a Canadian art-pop musician and the world’s best-known tech billionaire met over an AI joke, had three children, split, and ended up in court and in public disputes. I have followed this story since their 2018 Met Gala debut, and the timeline makes more sense when you see it in order. This guide covers the full arc, plus the other “Grimes and” searches people mix in, from Luke Grimes to Rick Grimes.

Biography Table

FieldDetails
Full NameClaire Elise Boucher
Nickname/Stage NameGrimes
Date of BirthMarch 17, 1988
Place of BirthVancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Age38
NationalityCanadian
Zodiac SignPisces
Profession/OccupationSinger, songwriter, record producer, visual artist
Years Active2010–present
EducationMcGill University (did not graduate)
Genre/FieldElectronic, art pop, synth-pop
Spouse/PartnerElon Musk (on-and-off, 2018–2022; never married)
Children3 (X Æ A-Xii, Exa Dark Sideræl, Techno Mechanicus)
ParentsSandy Garossino, Maurice Boucher
SiblingsMac Boucher and other brothers
Notable WorksVisions (2012), Art Angels (2015), Miss Anthropocene (2020), “Oblivion”
Awards/HonorsJuno Award for Electronic Album of the Year (Visions)
Social Media@grimezsz on X, @grimes on Instagram

Grimes and Elon Musk Timeline at a Glance

If you only need the key dates, this table answers most questions fast. Each milestone is explained in detail in the sections below.

DateMilestone
April 2018First linked publicly after a Twitter flirtation over an AI pun
May 7, 2018Met Gala debut together
May 4, 2020First child, son X Æ A-Xii, born
September 2021Musk says they are “semi-separated”
December 2021Daughter Exa Dark Sideræl (Y) born via surrogate
2022Broken up again, still co-parenting
September 2023Third child, son Techno Mechanicus (Tau), revealed in Walter Isaacson’s Musk biography
Sept. 29, 2023Grimes files a petition to establish parental relationship
February 2025Public plea over a child’s medical crisis
Dec. 11, 2025Grimes says Musk blocked her on X
January 2026Grimes describes limited co-parenting and her hopes for the kids

How Did Grimes and Elon Musk Meet?

The short answer: through a nerdy internet joke about artificial intelligence. In April 2018, Musk was about to tweet a pun he had come up with, “Rococo Basilisk,” and discovered Grimes had already made the same AI pun three years earlier. He messaged her, and the romance started from there.

The joke itself needs some context. Roko’s Basilisk is a thought experiment first posted on LessWrong, the online forum linked to founder Eliezer Yudkowsky. It imagines an all-powerful AI in the future that might punish anyone who knew about it but did not help bring it into existence. Yudkowsky famously treated the idea as an information hazard and removed discussion of it.

Grimes turned that dark idea into art. In her 2015 video for “Flesh Without Blood,” she played a character called Rococo Basilisk, a mash-up of the AI concept and 18th-century Rococo style, the era of Marie Antoinette. Musk found the reference, recognized the shared sense of humor, and reached out.

What strikes me most here is how fitting it is. Both had built their public identities around the future, technology and slightly strange ideas. Their first connection was not a club or a party but a shared obsession with AI, which became a theme that runs through their whole relationship.

Met Gala Debut and Early Relationship (2018–2019)

Grimes and Musk made their first public appearance as a couple at the Met Gala on May 7, 2018. Grimes wore a dress with a Tesla-logo collar, a detail fans read as an open statement about who she was with. That night made them official, and the “Grusk” nickname soon followed online.

The early months were not smooth. Musk was fresh off a relationship with Amber Heard, and by July and August 2018 breakup rumors circulated after a rough patch tied to online drama. They reconciled and kept appearing together at official events.

Their milestones over the next year mixed business and personal life:

  • They attended the Hyperloop Pod Competition together.
  • Grimes traveled with Musk to China around the opening of Tesla’s Shanghai factory in January 2019.
  • They were seen at the Kardashian-Jenner Christmas party in December 2019.

By late 2019, Grimes was pregnant with their first child. Looking back, this period was their most public phase as a couple, before family and legal issues pushed much of their life into a far more guarded space.

Grimes Defends Musk Over Tesla Union Claims

One of the less-remembered chapters is how Grimes publicly clashed with fans and critics over Tesla workers. When Musk faced union-busting accusations at Tesla’s Fremont factory, many fans expected the left-leaning artist to side with the workers. Instead, she defended him on Twitter.

The background traces back to a 2017 blog post by Tesla worker Jose Moran, who described low wages and injury rates and called for unionizing with the UAW. Musk pushed back hard, and the issue was later investigated. Critics called the situation hypocritical for a “sustainable future” company.

Grimes argued with Twitter users in a string of since-deleted tweets, and some fans began unfollowing her. Her music audience and Musk’s business world were colliding in real time, and she was caught in the middle.

The friction kept returning. Around July 2020 she was again linked to debates over Musk’s views, from stimulus spending to pronouns and his drift toward Republicans. It showed early how different their public values could look, even when they were close privately.

Semi-Separation and Breakups (2021–2022)

In September 2021, Musk told the press that he and Grimes were “semi-separated” but still loved each other and would co-parent their son. He said his work at SpaceX and Tesla kept him in Texas or overseas for long stretches, while Grimes was largely based in LA.

That same month Grimes went alone to the 2021 Met Gala red carpet, which fans read as a clear sign. She later explained that they lived in separate houses but remained “best friends,” and described their arrangement as fluid rather than a clean breakup.

In early 2022, Grimes said publicly that they had broken up again, even though they had just welcomed a second child. She described Musk as her “best friend” and suggested they might still have three or four kids together.

The phrase “semi-separated” became a meme, but in my view it captured the reality honestly. Their relationship never had one clear ending. Instead, it slowly shifted from romance to co-parenting, then to conflict, which explains why “are Grimes and Elon Musk still together” stays such a common search.

Grimes and Elon Musk Kids: X, Y and Tau

Grimes and Elon Musk have three children together: two sons and one daughter. Their unusual names drew global attention, and each one carries a meaning tied to their shared love of science, sci-fi and technology.

ChildNicknameBornMeaning Highlights
X Æ A-XiiX, Lil XMay 4, 2020X for the unknown variable, Æ as an elven spelling of AI, A-12 for Musk’s favorite aircraft
Exa Dark SiderælYDecember 2021 (surrogate)Exa for exaFLOPS, Dark for the unknown, Sideræl for universal star time
Techno MechanicusTauRevealed September 2023Kept private until Isaacson’s book

X Æ A-Xii was born in California. Because California rules did not allow non-alphabetic symbols on birth certificates, the spelling was later adjusted with Roman numerals. Musk explained the name himself on Joe Rogan’s podcast, where X’s pronunciation became a viral talking point.

Exa Dark Sideræl, nicknamed Y, was born via surrogate in December 2021 and kept secret for months. Grimes revealed her in a 4500-word interview in 2022, a cover story in which the infant cried upstairs during the conversation. Grimes noted the name also nodded to Galadriel from Lord of the Rings, while “Y” later played on the Sailor Moon character Sailor Mars.

The third child, a son named Techno Mechanicus, was only confirmed publicly through Walter Isaacson’s Musk biography in September 2023. Grimes said she kept him private by choice. The Isaacson book also showed a photo moment of Musk feeding one of the kids, which offered rare insight into the family’s private life.

Musk’s Wider Family Tree

To understand the Grimes and Elon Musk kids story, it helps to see where they fit in Musk’s larger family. Musk is the son of Maye and Errol Musk, with siblings Kimbal and Tosca. He has fathered at least 14 children with four women.

MotherChildren
Justine Wilson (first wife)Nevada (died of SIDS in 2002), twins Griffin and Vivian, triplets Kai, Saxon and Damian
GrimesX, Y (Exa) and Tau
Shivon ZilisTwins Strider and Azure, Arcadia, Seldon Lycurgus
Ashley St. ClairRomulus

His second wife, Talulah Riley, did not have children with him. Daughter Vivian has publicly cut ties, an estrangement that has made headlines of its own.

Knowing this wider picture explains a lot about Grimes’ later complaints. With a dozen-plus kids across several households, Musk’s time is stretched thin, and many of her public frustrations come back to how much access and attention each child gets.

The Shivon Zilis Twins and the Third Child

One of the most dramatic revelations from Isaacson’s book involved Shivon Zilis, a Neuralink executive. Zilis gave birth to twins fathered by Musk in November 2021, only weeks before Grimes and Musk welcomed Y via surrogate. Grimes reportedly did not know.

According to the biography, Zilis and Grimes had been friends, and Grimes had even tried to set Zilis up on dates. Grimes was reportedly outraged when she learned the truth. Zilis said Musk had acted as a sperm donor, but the situation still strained trust.

In a since-deleted post, Grimes later pushed back on parts of the book, saying it portrayed her “angry behavior” in an unfair way. She also referenced Musk’s “demon mode,” a phrase Isaacson used for his intense, combative side.

This chapter explains the tone of everything that followed. Once Grimes felt kept out of major family decisions, their co-parenting relationship moved from friendly to cautious. In my reading, this is the moment the “best friends” era really ended.

Parental Rights Lawsuit and Custody Battle

On September 29, 2023, Grimes filed a petition to establish a parental relationship with their three children in San Francisco Superior Court. The filing became public shortly after the Isaacson biography revealed Tau’s existence.

A petition like this is common for unmarried couples. It lets a court formally recognize both people as legal parents and set terms for custody and support. Grimes was not asking for a huge payout; she was seeking a clear legal structure for her role.

The fight dragged on. By mid-2024, Grimes publicly described a long custody battle, saying she had spent a year fighting and had at one point been kept from seeing one child. Her mother, Sandy Garossino, also spoke out on Instagram about not being able to see her grandchildren, which added a family dimension.

In public posts, Grimes tied her case to a bigger issue: poor mothers’ rights. She argued that if a well-known artist struggled this hard in court, a mother with less money would face far worse. Whether you agree or not, it reframed the custody fight as more than celebrity gossip.

Kids in the Public Eye and the Oval Office Visit

On February 11, 2025, X appeared with Musk at an Oval Office press event with President Trump, at times sitting on his father’s shoulders. The images went viral within minutes, and “Lil X” became a trending name.

Grimes reacted on X. She said their son should not be in the public eye like this and that she had not consented. She added that she had little legal recourse to stop it, and later asked people to stop posting images of the child.

Her position has been consistent: she wants the kids kept offline as much as possible. She has argued that fame at such a young age can be harmful, and has criticized headlines that use the children to build stories about Musk.

From a parenting point of view, this is a familiar split between public and private families. Musk regularly brings his kids to work and events, while Grimes favors anonymity. The disagreement is less about one photo and more about two very different views of childhood under fame.

The Child’s Medical Crisis Plea (February 2025)

In late February 2025, Grimes posted an urgent public message on X asking Musk to respond about a medical crisis affecting one of their children. She said the situation could lead to lifelong impairment if not handled properly.

Grimes claimed Musk had ignored texts, calls and emails, and had skipped meetings related to the child’s care. She asked him to designate someone to handle it if he was unavailable. Her posts were later deleted.

She then apologized for going public, saying she only did it because she could not reach him. A source close to Grimes described the move as a last resort rather than a publicity play.

What I took from this episode is how much the relationship had narrowed. Two people who once tweeted memes at each other were now communicating through public threads. It also showed that no court order fully solves day-to-day co-parenting.

Are Grimes and Elon Musk Still Together?

No. Grimes and Elon Musk are not together, and their relationship has grown more distant since their 2022 split. The clearest recent sign came on Dec. 11, 2025, when Grimes said Musk had blocked her on X.

The story spread after the @BigTechAlert account noted that Musk was no longer following her. A user reshared the post, and Grimes replied that he had blocked her, calling the situation silly given they share three kids.

By January 2026, Grimes described a co-parenting setup in which Musk has limited involvement while the kids are very young. She said she hopes he plays a bigger role as they grow. On Jan. 22, she also criticized people using kids for clout online, a dig many tied to wider Musk family drama involving Ashley St. Clair and her son Romulus.

Grimes has even called X “a prison” and taken months-long social media breaks. She has said she prefers slower art, such as Studio Ghibli films, and has joked about her loyal crow flock. For now, the honest answer is that they are exes trying, unevenly, to co-parent.

Grimes on AI, Her Kids and Musk

Despite the conflict, Grimes still holds a hopeful view of AI and talks about it openly. She has worked on a children’s book series and has described projects like AI companions and tools that let artists swap voices with hers.

She has also been thoughtful about screens and screen time. Grimes has said she wants her kids to grow up with some “old-world discipline” and less exposure to devices, even though she believes AI will shape their future.

Her views on Musk are layered. She has praised his work on rockets and sustainable energy while criticizing some of his posts, including anti-trans tweets. She has said she still respects him as a builder, even when she strongly disagrees with him.

The AI theme also brings the story full circle. Their romance started with Roko’s Basilisk, which is often compared to Pascal’s Wager and Newcomb’s Paradox, all puzzles about making choices under uncertainty about a powerful future force. Fittingly, the couple’s own future has been just as hard to predict.

Other Popular “Grimes and” Searches

Not every “Grimes and” search is about the musician. Several popular queries point to other people, a company, and two well-known TV characters, so here are quick, direct answers.

Luke Grimes and His Wife

Luke Grimes, the Yellowstone actor who plays Kayce Dutton, is married to Brazilian model Bianca Rodrigues Grimes. The pair wed in November 2019 and welcomed their first child, a son named Rigel Randolph Grimes, in 2024.

The couple mostly keeps their family life private, living a ranch-style lifestyle away from Hollywood. Luke has also built a country music career alongside acting, which often brings his name up next to country stars.

Luke Grimes and Ella Langley

Luke Grimes and Ella Langley are not a couple. They worked together on her music video. The video for her No. 1 hit “Choosin’ Texas” cast the Yellowstone and Marshals actor alongside Miranda Lambert, Kaitlin Butts and Ava Phillippe.

In the story, Langley and Grimes play a couple heading to Abilene, Texas, where his past catches up with him. Their on-screen chemistry fueled dating rumors, but Grimes said he first met Langley years earlier at Jamey Johnson’s wedding and would like to cast her in Marshals.

Grimes and Company

Grimes and Company is a financial firm, not linked to the singer. It is a Massachusetts investment advisory firm where four Grimes family members work, led by founder and chairman Timothy Grimes. It mainly offers customized, discretionary investment management to individuals, trusts, businesses and nonprofits.

Rick Grimes and Daryl Dixon

In The Walking Dead, Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) and Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus) share one of the show’s strongest bonds. Daryl begins as an outsider but becomes Rick’s most trusted right-hand man, and the two describe each other as brothers.

Their friendship survives major clashes, especially over how to deal with the Saviors and Negan. After Rick’s dramatic exit by helicopter in season 9, Daryl spends years searching for him, a thread that carried into his spin-off, The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon.

Rick Grimes and Michonne

Rick and Michonne, nicknamed “Richonne” by fans, became a couple in season 6 after years as close allies. Michonne helped raise Rick’s children, Carl and Judith, and the couple later had a son, RJ.

Their love story got a proper ending in the 2024 spin-off The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live, which reunites them after Rick’s long disappearance. For many fans, it remains the most satisfying relationship arc in the whole franchise.

FAQs

What is Grimes’ real name?

Grimes was born Claire Elise Boucher in Vancouver, Canada. She adopted the stage name Grimes early in her music career and has at times shortened it to simply “c,” a nod to the speed of light.

Were Grimes and Elon Musk ever married?

No, Grimes and Elon Musk never married. They were in an on-and-off relationship from 2018 to around 2022, which is why her custody case required a petition to establish legal parentage rather than a divorce filing.

How old was Grimes when she had her first child with Musk?

Grimes was 32 when X Æ A-Xii was born in May 2020. Musk was 48 at the time, an age gap of about 17 years that often comes up in discussions of the couple.

Does Grimes still make music?

Yes. Grimes still releases music and works on art, AI and book projects, though she has slowed her output since becoming a mother. She has also experimented with letting fans create songs using an AI version of her voice.

Who is Grimes dating now?

Grimes has kept her love life mostly private since splitting from Musk. She briefly drew attention in 2022 when she was linked to former whistleblower Chelsea Manning, but she has not publicly confirmed a serious relationship since then.

Is Luke Grimes related to Grimes the singer?

No. Luke Grimes, the American actor and country singer, has no family connection to Claire Boucher. They simply share a name, which is why searches for “Grimes and” often mix results about both.

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